Featured Slider

The Judgmental Will Get Judged.

I follow a lot of people on Instagram and twitter who don’t practice what they preach. They swear they love Jesus, they swear they love God’s people, and yet they still attack others. If they’re not voicing their judgmental comments in person, then they’re doing it behind a computer screen. They judge people for not having the same beliefs as them. They judge others for what they look like and who they hang out with. They judge others for being different. All too often people forget that they are allowed to disagree without being judgmental and rude towards someone else.

People often believe that their opinions are facts. And when someone disagrees with them, they freak out. They make things personal instead of agreeing to disagree. Sure, beliefs imply certain things about people, their morals or interests. But if you can’t change someone else’s mind or you can’t change them, then why not turn away from them? Who are we to judge others for for being themselves?

We all have our own opinions. When we are younger we are taught to respect others opinions even if we do not agree with them, but then we watch adults not listen to this same piece of advice that they’re preaching. The internet has given us a new platform to express our feelings and beliefs. But it also gives us a platform for others to respond in a harsh way. We could disagree with others. We can try to convince people we are the ones who are right and we know what is best. But what we shouldn’t do is making a situation personal. People get angry that others don’t agree with them, and they respond by attacking others for their appearance or they participate in name calling. But it goes farther than that. People judge you for what you may have done, and they throw past mistakes in others faces to discredit them to the world. But did they forget that their not perfect either? So why judge someone for sinning differently than you?

It’s not okay to judge someone, however, we all do it. Someone walks through the room and we instantly judge them. We don’t mean to, well most of us don’t. But the first thought isn’t what defines you, it’s the second thought. It’s after we realize we just judge someone and then try to un-judge them by finding something good about them. See, we were never put here to judge. That is not our purpose here on earth. We need to give that act up to God because that is His job. We were put here to love one another. Yet some people cannot do that because their ignorance gets in the way. Instead of being judgmental, we should support each other. It is okay to disagree with each other as long as you don’t bring up irrelevant, personal, things into a discussion that has nothing to do with the discussion. Don’t try to hurt someone mentally or emotionally just because you disagree with someone. Can you imagine how much better off the world would be if we all tried to be nice to each other instead of trying to tear each other down? Don’t forget that God is the ultimate judge and He will eventually judge those who were judgmental.

Why Do We Hold On to Toxic Friendships?

One of the greatest gifts you can have in life is friendship. And when done correctly, friendship can be a beautiful thing. We all need someone in this life, someone who will have our backs when we need them the most. But all too often friendships end in a crash and burn style. Usually someone does something that we can no longer agree with or support and then the friendship falls through. But what about the toxic friendships that seem to never end? Why are toxic friendships so hard to give up?

Have you ever seen a friend be badly influenced by one of their friends? And all you have wanted to do is shake that person and ask them why they are accepting to be treated like trash. The truth is, people normally don’t normally know they’re in a toxic friendship. They don’t see their friend as a toxic person until well after the friendship ends. One of the greatest qualities a toxic person has is the ability to manipulate you and make you feel like you are not good enough. They will constantly say little things that make you insecure about your friendship. And, instead of thinking to yourself, “wow I’m better than this and I will not let anyone make me feel this way,” you want the reassurance that you are good enough so you hold on tighter to the friendship. So, how do you find out if you are in fact in a toxic friendship?

You should never have to feel like your friend doesn’t like you. You should never have to feel like you need to please this person for them to still be your friend. If you think that you might possibly be in a toxic friendship, what you should do is take a step back. It takes two people to put in effort for a friendship to last. See if this friendship is only one sided. If you’re the one who is constantly calling the other person and you are the one constantly setting up lunches and events, then that is not a friendship. Not only is this person making you feel less worthy than what you are as a person, but they also do not care enough about your friendship if they’re not putting any effort in. Don’t text them for once and see if they text you first. See if they try to keep the friendship alive if you were to pull away a little bit.

That being said, people can be friends and rarely talk. My best friend and I do not get to talk often and we rarely get to see each other, I mean we get to see each other once or twice a year. And it is just because we are both very busy people. That doesn’t mean we don’t love each other. She is still my best friend because when I am with her or I am talking to her, I get to be myself. I’m not trying to impress her or accommodate to her. I don’t feel like I have to force a friendship with her. A toxic friendship is all about how the friendship makes you feel. If you feel like your friendship is a chore then you’re probably in a toxic friendship.

Okay, so you’re in a toxic friendship, how do you get out and why is it important to do so? It should seem obvious as to why you need to get out of a toxic friendship. A toxic friendship will slowly drain the life out of you. It’s a new worry in your life that is not needed. And you need to get out in order for you to feel better and be less stressed. But it is hard to quit a friendship with a person you care about. I can’t tell you how many friendships I stayed in because I cared for the other person and I wanted to believe everything was fine. There comes a point where you have to shake off your state of denial and put yourself first. You have to take care of yourself, and if that means cutting some people out then you have to do it. One of the biggest reasons you keep avoiding ending the friendship is because you don’t know if it is for the best. What if life was better and you were happier when you were best friends with this person?

I know it is hard, but you are going to be better without those people in your life. You’re going to miss them and there is going to be something that happens that makes you want to call or text them. But you will get over that and in the end you will be so much happier and healthier without that stressful friendship in you life.