I Have a Lot of People to Prove Wrong



He said, “don’t you feel lonely living in your own little world?”
She whispered, “don’t you feel powerless living in someone else's?”
-F.G.

            I have learned firsthand that if you do not believe in yourself, you will fail. It does not matter who believes or does not believe in you if you do not believe in yourself. From birth, people did not believe in me, literally from birth. You see, my mom was not supposed to be able to children. Seven different doctors told her this and still she continued to pray for a baby. She went against all the odds and was not giving up without a fight. She only had a 3% chance of becoming pregnant and even if she were to become pregnant, she still was at risk of having a miscarriage. Yet here I am, that 3%. Let’s jump to my senior year of high school, where I began to apply to a ton of different universities in state, out of state, public, and private. I applied to a total of 10 schools and waited to see who would accept me. Through this process, I had people telling me I shouldn’t apply to so many colleges and “are you sure you are even smart enough to get into that university?” In the end, I was accepted to every single University I applied to. At the beginning of applying, I knew that this was going to happen because I had believed in myself even when everyone doubted me. I never allowed myself to think toxic words such as “what if” nor did I ever allow myself to question if I could actually accomplish this. But then, freshman year in college happened. I was surrounded by people who constantly said, “the exam is too hard” even though they had not seen it yet. They would doubt themselves and then doubt me. But the difference now was when they started doubting me, it caused me to begin doubting myself. It took me an entire year to finally get my confidence back but during that year, I did not do my best. We’ve been warned about this happening in many television shows, movies, and novels. People’s opinion can affect your entire life if you allow them.

            In the TV show, Gilmore Girls, all Rory Gilmore ever wanted to do was become a successful journalist who reported on the truth. Rory Gilmore; however, was told by a newspaper owner that she wasn’t good enough to be a journalist. That judgmental remark forced Rory to change her behavior and she did something no one ever thought she would do, she got arrested for stealing a boat. Then, since someone had told her that she wasn’t good enough for the one career she had worked her whole life to enter, she decided to quit going to her Ivy League college because she no longer knew what to do with her life. She completely fell into a downward spiral because of one opinion. She did things that she would never have thought about, and these were not good things. Rory turned her world upside down because of that one opinion that would later be disproved.

            No matter how hard we try, we will never not be affected by self-doubt at one point in our life. But, what is important is how we shake ourselves out of that mind set. The revival of one’s confidence within, comes in all shapes and forms. For Rory, it took seeing someone from her past blatantly say this person Rory had become was not who she should have been.     And in another TV show, Gossip Girl, Blair begins to doubt her high social status and who she is as a person when the students attending NYU do not get along with her. She forgets she is Blair Waldorf and begins to sulk in self-pity.  She even tries to hide her new life from the public eye because she doesn’t want people to see Queen Blair be known as a nobody. It takes Chuck Bass pep talking her and secretly hiring a photographer to take her photo in order to make her once again feel important. Once she regains her self confidence, she is back to being herself, ruling from the throne she built.

            In real life, you’re going to doubt yourself one time or another and that is okay. What is important is that you remind yourself who you are and get back up to conquer whatever challenge has been thrown at you. You are capable of so much. There are so many people you are up against as well as there being many people who are rooting against you. And that’s okay too. But remember, that is not your competition. You need to compete with yourself alone. Always strive to be better, faster, stronger, and smarter than who you were yesterday and, I promise, you will come out on top. When you are not worried about what others are doing or how far along the people you are up against have come, then you don’t have time to listen to their opinions as well. You have a lot of people to prove wrong and the only way you can do that is by believing in yourself. It is the first step in any successful outcome. Believe in yourself and surround yourself with friends and family who also believe in you. But for those that do not believe in you, keep them at arm’s length. Be civil in public but never allow them the power to impact your life.  As Tyler Joseph once so kindly said on twitter, “keep your friends close and your enemies on the guest list.”