Torn Between Giving Up and Giving More.

          Why do so many people give up on dreams they have had their entire lives? It’s a question that everyone eventually  wonders but there is never a correct answer. Here is the thing about people, when we get scared we quit. When we are in a situation that could change our life but there is an obstacle that comes into play, we give up. Because, not only is it easier to throw everything away and quit, but this way we don’t have to experience the pain and heartbreak that comes with not achieving something we had wanted so bad. We would rather wonder what could have been instead of trying and failing. It is not necessarily failure that stops us, it is the fear of never achieving our goal that stops us.

            People don’t like to fail. People tend to classify failure with a negative meaning instead of looking at failure as a learning opportunity. Failing doesn’t have to be an end result, and rarely is it if you want something bad enough. We forget to realize that after failing, we have another opportunity to try again. You have an unlimited amount of trials to fail until one day you end the trial with success. So why does everyone stop after they fail their first trial? 

            In school, we were taught that we either pass or fail. And this concept scared us because we knew if we failed a test we had a better opportunity to fail the class. And if we failed the class, our GPA would drop lower which would result in our chance to get into the college we wanted to attend to decrease. We were taught that you could either succeed or fail. There was no in-between nor were there any do overs. Instead of focusing on actually learning the material we were being taught, we were stuck on memorizing portions of it in hopes that it would help us in the test. We never truly learned what we were supposed to learn because we never truly understood what we were being taught. Instead, we knew about the material, but if the time ever came that we had to apply this material to something we wouldn’t know what to do.

            For me, this is one of the reasons that when I get one little set back in my journey to earning my dreams, I all of sudden contemplated giving up. All of my hard work and all of the fight that was in me suddenly comes to a halt when one little thing didn’t turn out how I had planned for it to. In that moment, I am willing to throw away all of those sleepless nights and endless tears because of one bad moment, one bad day. Instead of realizing that this is just one bad day, and the next day I could try again, my thoughts immediately go to giving up completely. And once I wake up the next day, I am ready to pick up where I had left off while registering this minor setback as just that, a minor setback. It was not something that had so much significance that it could keep me back, it just held me back in that moment. But I can push past that moment. But not everyone is as lucky as I am to realize how insignificant that one little unplanned thing is. Sometimes when someone else is faced in a situation where they feel like they failed at something, they don’t tend to get back up and try again.  

I’m not blaming the schools for ruining us by making us think in this manner. I just want to know what would happen if we were taught that failure is, in fact a good thing. If we knew we had nothing to fear, would we try harder to make our dreams come true? How many people are currently in a job they dislike, or are only slightly satisfied with it, because they gave up on their dreams when faced with challenges? And I wonder how many of those people would have succeeded if they were to have tried again. The truth is, no matter your goals, you’re going to be faced with challenges. You cannot escape that. But you should never quit because of it. You should never decrease what you want. Instead, you should be increasing your hard work. Try different methods if one of them didn’t work. But don’t quit. If you continue to try, you’ll continue to advance to your goal. And then, in the end, you’ll achieve it. You need to stop being afraid of failure and push past it.