Is He Not Speaking, Or Am I Not Listening?

          It is hard to admit this, but a few weeks ago I got upset with God. You see, I was praying and, for the first time, I realized that my conversation felt very one sided. I didn’t hear a voice talking me through all the problems I had just let off my chest nor did I suddenly know what to do and how to do it. I got mad because I thought God was not listening to what I had to say. Why should I speak to Him when I don’t have a way to listen to what He has to tell me?

            I went on with my life and I continued to pray the next night and the next night like I do normally do. But the question of, “why do I pray if I do not receive any feedback” was stuck in the back of my mind. I was brought up to know that God is a friend of yours, and you can talk to him about anything and everything. I don’t know why I never had this thought previously when put in the same situation of not hearing what He has to say. But ever since I first thought about it, I couldn’t get it out of my mind.

            It wasn’t until I was scrolling through Instagram later that week. The post gave me advice for a problem I was currently having and the problem was something that I had previously prayed about. I never asked for this post, in fact, the post popped up by itself. I just dismissed the situation as a coincidence. So, I took the advice and moved on. Later that week, I logged into twitter only to see a statement on how you will always need God in your life no matter what you are doing or what you are up against. And in that moment I had gotten the answers to all my prayers.

            God cannot communicate the same way we all do. Just as we learn what a dog wants by their bark instead of forcing them to learn English, We have to learn what God wants by His own communication. This could be scrolling through social media until something happens to pop up, or you could be in church and the message that day is something you needed to hear for the situation you are currently going through. God’s language is not our own, but He still can understand us. We just have to work on interpreting Him.

            It took me a while but, I finally realized I was the problem. I wasn’t listening to what God was telling me. Instead, I wanted Him to come out and say everything I needed even though that is not how He communicates. I wanted to hear a voice, but instead I got signs. It was up to me to adapt to His language instead of the other way around. The next time you feel like God is not with you or not answering your prayers, take a step back and see if you are the one who is not listening instead of Him not speaking.