I Am Worn.

No matter how much you try, you will never spend your whole life without at least experiencing a few crises in your life. That is because we must go through the dark parts of our life if we want to get to our destiny. When going through a terrible period in your life, it is not uncommon to be filled with anxiety, sadness, or fear. However, It helps ease you when you put all your trust into God. You’re able to sit back and take a second to say to yourself, “okay, I cannot avoid this crisis. I have to go through this, much to my dismay. But, at least I know God is with me. And if I have to go through this crisis, then at least God is on my side while in it. But, it is easier said than done. Most of the times, it is while we are in the darkest moments that our faith seems to slip between our fingers. We become so worn out that instead of getting up to fight and persist, we want to roll over and give up. It is not that we want to forfeit to whatever is beating us up, but it is we feel we have no other choice. It just takes an ounce of faith to motivate you to get back up and try again. But the hard part is finding the ounce of faith when you’re in the darkness. So, what do we do when we become so worn out to the point where we feel there is nothing left to give in our fight?

             The first thing you should do when you become worn out is realize you are not the first in this position, and you certainly won’t be the last. There is a little comfort to be found in knowing you’re not completely alone in your struggles, even when your faith may be rocky. You should understand that it is completely normal to have doubts when it comes to your religion when you are in a dark place. It may feel wrong, but it is human instinct to doubt when faced with situations that do not seem to be overcoming. It is in these moments that our faith is fragile, which only means we should hold on to it even tighter than before.

             The next thing you should do is trust that God has a plan for you. It may be hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel, but that does not mean it is not there. Things can, and will, change, but not according to your say. This isn’t a boxing rink, you can’t just tap out when you feel you have no more fight in you. It is up to God’s timing.

When I was little, I was a very religious child. I talked to everyone and anyone about God whether they were interested or not, it was just who I was. I was about 9 or 10 years old when I was first asked what I think people should do when faced with difficult challenges, and I would simply say, “to trust God.”

             Over the years, I forgot about this. And by the time I was in the position to have a few struggles coming up against myself, I had forgotten my best coping mechanism. That is until I remembered after my mom telling me how I use to say this. At 16 years old I picked back up on trusting God in the middle of what felt like a tornado. And it would ease a little bit of the anxiety that had been previously filling my chest. I knew God would take care of me. I didn’t know how and I didn’t know when. I was lost and I only held on to what seemed like a thin rope that was called my faith. But I held on to that ‘rope’ for dear life. Slowly things would get better. I would keep trying at whatever it was, even when my struggles pushed me back or knocked me down. I never gave up. And by doing so, I was able to reach the light at the end.

             I cannot sit here and say I understand what you are going through or I know how you feel. I would be lying. We all deal with different struggles in different ways, but what I have come to terms with is we have to go through these struggles whether we want to or not. Our struggles often make us who we are by causing us to build skills for something in the future, become stronger and wiser, and make our faith stronger than it was before. It might seem so weird considering our faith seemed so small in the midst of struggling. But by the time the end of the struggle comes along, we can strengthen our faith. It is not easy as we continue to have to lean on God. But, by trusting Him, we are strengthening our faith.

             I know what it feels like to be worn. It is one of the worst feelings because you just want to give up. You want the struggles to all be over. But know that when you feel worn and tired, God is right there next to you. He is ready to carry you. And if He believes you can make it through whatever you are going through, which He does or else He wouldn’t have given you the struggle to conquer, then you can believe in yourself too.